The 10 people to invite or not to invite

These days I’m planning my sister’s wedding. It is during this testing time did I realize I’d love to share with everyone how exciting and how trying this period can be. When I started with the plans I had a lot of stuff in my head and within my head I was in control of everything. But as soon as I started planning things out and formulating actual things I realized my mind is too perfect and nothing is going wrong there, but reality is too complicated and nothing goes according to my wishes here.

So after several attempts of trying to do things my way I gave in and decided to let things be and go with the flow, there seemed no point in trying to go against the stream. Since then I’m far more relaxed and more in the mood to share my experiences with everyone.

So let’s begin…

The first obstacle of the wedding is always who all to invite, though I would like nothing more than inviting a few family and friends who are closest to me, unfortunately, the wedding list can never be a list of your favorites only… you are bound to invite ALL your rishtedar and every goddamn soul you’ve ever come across.

The people who make your list:

1.    The Defaults – these guys are there, they are just there unsaid, unwritten names, you may never give them an invitation but they’ll just be there (partly coz they’re also planning the wedding with you). These people are usually your favorite coz they are your closest friends and family. The people you laugh out loud with over all the things that go wrong in the planning and then turn to when things go bad. You whine and complain to them and they are there to solve your issues out and tell you to relax because while you’re fighting several battles these people form a protective wall around you to save your day.

2.    The Ristedaars – you may not be aware of their existence until you start working on your list, and you are bound to invite them for the sole reason that they happen to be your mother’s sister’s husband’s cousin’s son’s daughter’s niece (if that even makes sense).

3.    The Inviters – these are the people who’ve invited you to the weddings of their family.  You may not know them, but you remember the biryani you had at their betay ka valima.

4.    The Bura Mannay Walay – these guys will never show up for the wedding but definitely feel left out and insulted if they haven’t been invited for the wedding and you may just end up hearing for as long as you live ‘hum to ab un se nai miltay jab se unhon ne apni beti ki shaadi mein nahi bulaya’ (honestly – Thank God for that).

5.    The Paisa Valoosi – these people you want to invite because you attended their weddings and gave away expensive gifts and now you want to give them the chance to return the gift. Also you are dead sure that somewhere in their diary exists your name with a Rs. XXXX figure that you are sure you’ll get when they arrive at the wedding.

6.    The Dance Walay Friends – that you really want to invite, you danced your toes sore at their weddings and you expect them to create a similar mahol at yours.

7.    The Long Time No See – a wedding is a good time to call these people up who haven’t met you simply coz you have drifted away because of work or school. If they come you get to meet them if they don’t you save a per plate charge… it’s a win win.

8.    The Office Walay – again you may not want to invite them but you just have to because you’ve looted them on several occasions at the office, sometimes invited and sometimes ‘treat’ ke naam pe. While you put their names down in ink you’re mentally calculating if they’ll actually be able to make it to the so and so event on that certain date on that certain day or not.

9.    The Mohallay Walay – even though you’ve had your disagreements of where to place your dustbins or gamlay or where you park your car or how you park your car, you just have to invite them to the wedding because they are the bearers of the loud music you’ve been playing prepping for the dances for the mehndi and all the noise you make while you’re having your dholkis.

10. The Dulha/Dulhan Walay – how can we actually forget the guests? These guys are the VIP guests who obviously take priority over all your own mehman. While this list fluctuates like crazy until the very end, these guests deserve your best smile throughout every event no matter how you feel.