Papa... do i say more???
Three-year old and I don’t know the concept of divinity. I don’t know if there is a God above us making decisions about us, I don’t know if Allah is the creator of all and we are but puppets of a show He’s directing. All I know is there is no one mightier than my Father and the world is a secure place as long as I’m holding papa’s finger.
When he held me in his arms the world was a smaller place, it began with him and ended with him. I never needed another friend because he completed my world and I took the place of his friend.
Twenty four years later I still feel the same minus the concept of divinity. When he’s around there is nothing in this world I can’t face. He is the faith around me, the force behind the belief in my self.
As buddies, when I was younger we enjoyed the same sports… wrestling and yes we had our own mock fights where I tried new tactics on him and unsurprisingly I won them all. We didn’t need another person for our company, as father and daughter we were a team on our own; went out to our own picnics… found fun things to do with nothing more than a sand hill, never needed a spade and pail to build sand castles; papa has his own creative ways of making homes.
We were partners in crime, we did things together that did, to an extend infuriated mom coz she ended up cleaning after our experiments but then every single moment papa spent with me is so precious nothing will be able to dim the spark those memories ignite.
I still remember the day he taught me to write my first ‘zero’. I made my first ‘roti’ under his supervision; actually he took the blame to save me from mom’s scolding for messing up her kitchen. He taught me to make paper flowers… something we did every Thursday night and then wake up every Friday morning with mom going frantic about the mess the paper bits have left on her carpet.
He supported me through my wildest, craziest ideas. I was never discouraged, be it the desire to drive at the age of 4 or going to the office at the age of 6. I want a birthday party – I get it. I want to go to a concert – I get it. I want this I want that! And he gives me whatever I want. Has there been anything that I’ve wanted and you’ve not given me? No.
At times he becomes my protector with his arms around me… at times he becomes my guardian with his hand on my head… sometimes he becomes the friend whose shoulder I want to cry on and mostly he remains my papa - the world for me.
I spent weekends lying on his arm and listening to stories of his childhood, and in those stories I saw his dreams, his hopes and his limitations. I not only saw him… now I know him too. Just as well as he knows me.
Sometimes I feel he can read my mind… he always knows whatever is going on there. Sometimes the issues are small and sometimes they are huge, sometimes I never say anything to him and yet he speaks the exact words I want to hear. Sometimes I say things so loud that even I can’t understand the noise, but he understands the silence. Mom always complained about me not sharing much with her, but I never needed to coz papa already knew, he always understands my doubts, my fears, my happiness, I’ve never needed to put things in words to be heard or read for him to understand.
Even now I don’t need to tell him how much I love coz he knows, he’s known that his princess has never loved any man more than she’s loved him from the day she was born. I’ve told him how much I love him by hugging him when I got up in the middle of the night, never more excited in my life, after he had just returned after a 15 day trip away. I’ve told him how much I love him running down to meet him every time, after he came back from work. I’ve told how much I loved him by admitting my favorite stuffed toy thought he was the best in the world. I’ve told him how much I’ve loved him by holding his hand and trusting him to save me from every fall. I’ve told him I love him by complaining to him about him. I’ve told him I love him not in words that he can hear. I’ve never said the words ‘I love you’ and yet he knows….
Today is father’s day but I just wanted to use it as an excuse. I know, now matter what I say or do or get him it can never be compared to what he means to me. Words are useless for me coz nothing can express what you are to me. Maybe I’ve just wasted writing all this because this is not even a bit of my real feeling expressed. But I just don’t want to miss on the chance of actually saying this ‘Papa I really Love you! You are the world to me and you are the best!”
When he held me in his arms the world was a smaller place, it began with him and ended with him. I never needed another friend because he completed my world and I took the place of his friend.
Twenty four years later I still feel the same minus the concept of divinity. When he’s around there is nothing in this world I can’t face. He is the faith around me, the force behind the belief in my self.
As buddies, when I was younger we enjoyed the same sports… wrestling and yes we had our own mock fights where I tried new tactics on him and unsurprisingly I won them all. We didn’t need another person for our company, as father and daughter we were a team on our own; went out to our own picnics… found fun things to do with nothing more than a sand hill, never needed a spade and pail to build sand castles; papa has his own creative ways of making homes.
We were partners in crime, we did things together that did, to an extend infuriated mom coz she ended up cleaning after our experiments but then every single moment papa spent with me is so precious nothing will be able to dim the spark those memories ignite.
I still remember the day he taught me to write my first ‘zero’. I made my first ‘roti’ under his supervision; actually he took the blame to save me from mom’s scolding for messing up her kitchen. He taught me to make paper flowers… something we did every Thursday night and then wake up every Friday morning with mom going frantic about the mess the paper bits have left on her carpet.
He supported me through my wildest, craziest ideas. I was never discouraged, be it the desire to drive at the age of 4 or going to the office at the age of 6. I want a birthday party – I get it. I want to go to a concert – I get it. I want this I want that! And he gives me whatever I want. Has there been anything that I’ve wanted and you’ve not given me? No.
At times he becomes my protector with his arms around me… at times he becomes my guardian with his hand on my head… sometimes he becomes the friend whose shoulder I want to cry on and mostly he remains my papa - the world for me.
I spent weekends lying on his arm and listening to stories of his childhood, and in those stories I saw his dreams, his hopes and his limitations. I not only saw him… now I know him too. Just as well as he knows me.
Sometimes I feel he can read my mind… he always knows whatever is going on there. Sometimes the issues are small and sometimes they are huge, sometimes I never say anything to him and yet he speaks the exact words I want to hear. Sometimes I say things so loud that even I can’t understand the noise, but he understands the silence. Mom always complained about me not sharing much with her, but I never needed to coz papa already knew, he always understands my doubts, my fears, my happiness, I’ve never needed to put things in words to be heard or read for him to understand.
Even now I don’t need to tell him how much I love coz he knows, he’s known that his princess has never loved any man more than she’s loved him from the day she was born. I’ve told him how much I love him by hugging him when I got up in the middle of the night, never more excited in my life, after he had just returned after a 15 day trip away. I’ve told him how much I love him running down to meet him every time, after he came back from work. I’ve told how much I loved him by admitting my favorite stuffed toy thought he was the best in the world. I’ve told him how much I’ve loved him by holding his hand and trusting him to save me from every fall. I’ve told him I love him by complaining to him about him. I’ve told him I love him not in words that he can hear. I’ve never said the words ‘I love you’ and yet he knows….
Today is father’s day but I just wanted to use it as an excuse. I know, now matter what I say or do or get him it can never be compared to what he means to me. Words are useless for me coz nothing can express what you are to me. Maybe I’ve just wasted writing all this because this is not even a bit of my real feeling expressed. But I just don’t want to miss on the chance of actually saying this ‘Papa I really Love you! You are the world to me and you are the best!”
simply love it
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