Happy New Year!!!

There is no new year without you... there is no new day. Life is just going on without a night or day. I don't know what to live for anymore, I don't know what to exceed. I don’t know why I did what I did all those years I don’t know what else I missed. The time should have shared with you being your daughter I was playing other roles. And now when you are not there I don’t know what role to play. 

It is a strange feeling to be crying so much lately and you not there to share this moment with me. Oh I could give away the worlds for you to be here with me right now crying along with me and wiping my tears off too. I can still feel the warmth of your hands on my skin; I can still feel its smoothness. 

I want you to be here with me worrying for me, worrying yourself sick, I don’t like the darkness or stillness you are in, I want you here with me sick and unhappy, in pain but here with me. I want to wake up to your voice giving me a list of chores to start my day off I want you to threaten me. I want you to scold me for being lazy and uncaring. I want you to be fighting with me for trivial things. I want you to be with me. I want to hear your voice; I want you to see your face, I just want you here somewhere in the house give me a sense of peace and security.

Without you I feel like I sleep uncovered under an open sky, without you I feel unprotected, without you it seems there’s no one behind me when I look around! God I thought you were so weak yet you were my strength! I never noticed what you meant to me when you where there and now when you are not here, not one day is complete. 

I know you must be worried for us wherever you are but I’ll begin this year with a promise to you that this coming year and all the years after this, I’ll take care of your family just like you wanted to take care of us. I’ll become the wall that you were. Don’t worry about us… you be at peace wherever you are, remember you’ve left me behind and you know how good I am at changing roles? I’m ready to begin 2010 as you Ma!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

What would Asma Siddiqui like for her birthday this year (2018)?

Image
Following the trend I am sharing my list of birthday gifts that I’d love to get this year. For my newer friends who are not fully aware of my brilliance a quick recap; I do this because I’d rather get gifts that I can use and that I need for the time being instead of being showered by lovely gifts that stay sitting and forgotten in the corner of my room somewhere. So to save you effort, time and money here’s my list: Board Games: 1.        Ludo 2.        Scrabble 3.        Bingo Stationary Items: (pictures attached for better understanding ;) ) 1.        Lead pencil/ clutch pencil  2.        Colored Felt pens Books: 1.        Rumi’s Daughter by Muriel Maufroy 2.        The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy 3.     ...
Read more

Sister at Distance

It’s sad to lose your sister to distance; for a person who stays by you day and night, gets married and moves away and then all you are left with is a void. A void that no one else can fill, there are times when you want to share the tiniest of things with her and she’s not around. The only thing that keeps you connected is Whatsapp and Facebook and Instagram. When through social media you are able to keep tabs on her, you know what’s happening in her life, although you want to be part of everything that happens in her life you realize that that’s never going to happen and you just have to distance yourself from her, because her priorities in life have changed, she’s got another family to take care of and your own urgencies can wait. You will continue to be a part of her life that has taken a cyclone turn and although you’re glad you’re not part of the whirlpool, you’re a sidelined spectator watching her from a distance. Our connection now just remains limited to the mobile ...
Read more

Cafe Mist & Gelato Affairs

2012 is one of those years for me when I want to be very socially active.   Mind you I’m not usually this active every year. The year before Last i.e. 2010 I didn’t want to see a human face. I have the ability to hibernate on yearly basis from social life, for various reasons. So this year I decided to have a reunion of the old office where I worked. Now there I worked with more than 100 people over the course of 5 years, obviously I made some really good friends and some people I just outright hate, I’m sure they know who they are. So having said that I put aside my differences and invited everyone I knew to a reunion. Also when inviting I made sure I told everyone very clearly that the invitation is open to all just come bring your friends, family whoever, just come we’ll sit down together catch up on the latest, reminisce about the past, enjoy ourselves and go back home thinking the day wasn’t so bad, However, statistically speaking out of the 50+ invitations I sent out, I ...
Read more